#952 ”Blue Jeans by Lana Del Rey is one of my favourite songs because I have this fantasy/story in my mind, albeit a sad one…..”
I’m a lowly women in a town of man. A farmers daughter. My father comes back to the farm house one afternoon with Thorin. As he walks into the room he takes my breath away. “He’s unlike any other man I’ve ever seen.” I think to myself. My father introduces him to me and explains that Thorin will be working in our vacant forge, as his blacksmith. Thorin approaches me and says, “Thorin of the line Durin, at your service” in his huskily voice. As he bowed before me.
Over the months he works in the town we talk, and he starts to open up to me about his past. He tells me he has never told these things to anyone else before. I realise we may have grown up from different worlds and different races, but we have something in common, we have both experienced loss. One evening at his forge we are having one of these tender talks. I had told him of the few memories I have of my mother. He softly wipes a tear from my cheek with his rough thumb, I raise my eyes to his in slight shock at his sudden closeness. Until now he had always been distant and somewhat withdrawn even when we’d had these talks. We are so close. Our noses almost touch, he makes a move to kiss me, but I pull away. “Thorin I can not” I say. Having been burned by love in the past, I know that its mean and it hurts. Then he whispers to me. “I am not like those other men of your race, I am a Dwarf, different from them, and I will never hurt you.” I start to remember that cold day we met in December, when I first laid eyes on him. The feelings come flooding back. We kiss, and from that night on we are lovers and soul mates.
Then suddenly one day he says he has to leave. He tells me he must find a way to reclaim his home. “Our home.” he says to me, I get confused at his sudden urgency. “I owe this to you, to my people. My father and grandfather” he says. I beg him as my tears stream. “Please don’t do this, don’t leave me.” I try to convince him, “We don’t need all the gold in Erebor, we can make a simple life work!. And as for your people you have told me they have got by for many years, and they are making new lives for themselves.”
He doesn’t listen. He gives me one last kiss, before he heads out, and says “ I will be back for you, before you know it.”
As I wait month on month for his return, or any kind of news I realise I should have argued my point on going with him. I insisted it on the day he left. I said to him. “I will come with you!, then it doesn’t matter where you go or what you do. I will be by your side. “ But he just says no and that it will be much to dangerous for me.
Then I start to fret that something I said had made him leave. I recall one particular morning, as we lay tangled and sated in the bed sheets of his forge. I was idly talking about our future, a home of our own and children. “I told him I wanted more” I say to myself. (maybe not in so many words, but he took it the wrong way.) I never meant for this to happen!, I just want it to be like before!, nothing more. But it was to late.
Then I get angry, his people are the reason he left!, his father and grandfather. They took him away!, Stole him out of my life!!.
“Then maybe” I say to myself, and start to worry. He has found another, a woman of his own kind, and that he has forgotten that he’s mine.
After my emotions have passed. All I can do is pray he is safe and that he did not forget his promise to me.
Year on year I wait for him. I never marry or even meet another. I will love him till the end of time. When people ask me if I am wed I simply say. “I would wait a million years.” They don’t understand the meaning behind my words, we kept our love secret. These town people would never understand us. I always stay true to him, to the greatest love I would ever know.
The years pass slowly by. And I remember that night in his forge and realise. He did stay true to his word. He had never hurt me, even on the day he left. He only ever had good intentions, for us, for his people. I only wonder why he never returned for me, though I know deep in my heart what must have happened. But I dare not dwell on that.
So as I grow old, and even up to my dying day. The last words he said to me circle my mind. “ I will be back for you, before you know it.”
Only he never does.
"Sorry guys if that made you tear up. I did to writing it. But it’s a sad song with not a happy fairy tale ending. Just like Thorin’s fate."